POISSON D'AVRIL CONTEST
-----------------------

Objective
---------
The objective of the Poisson d'Avril contest is to promote the use of humor
in the field of amateur radio contesting by amateurs worldwide before, 
during, and after the contest period. Actual on-the-air activity is 
encouraged, but optional. All amateurs with a sense of humor are eligible.
It can be used as a way to vent your frustrations in writing after the CQ
WPX contest, held the two days preceding the P d'A.

Entry Classes
-------------
As with most contests, there are two Major Entry Categories: 

1. anything-goes-including-illegal-power-blood-sport
2. why-do-the-same-guys-always-win-they-must-be-cheating-please-change-the
   -rules-so-I-can-win

Within Major Category 1, the sub-classes are:

1A. Single-operator
In this category, packet spotting may be used (including self-spotting, and
remote connection via Internet to remote Packetclusters), and any other 
stretch of the rules you can imagine. Essentially anything goes, so be 
creative. Just don't tell anyone your secret techniques besides the P d'A 
Contest Committee. We won't tell anyone else (nudge, nudge). Relief 
operators may also be used as long as they sound more or less like you on 
phone.

1B. Multi-operator
Multi-operator entrants may use as many stations per band as possible. There
is no limit to the maximum distance between stations, as long as all antennas
are located within a radius of 20,000 km. Physical connection between the
between the transmitter and antennas is not required.

Within Major Category 2, entrants may invent their own category, reflecting
their own personal reason for not entering Major Category 1. Examples include

"Single-op-the-contest-is-too-long-because-I-have-a-job-and-family-unlike-
those-guys-in-Major-Category-1-so-I-only-operated-an-hour";

"Single-op-but-I-only-have-a-small-(your choice of real estate, equipment, 
or body part here)-and-can't-possibly-beat-those-other-guys"; 

"Multi-op-but-most-of-the-guys-are-from-my-local-club-and-just-wanted-to-
drink-beer-all-weekend-since-we-couldn't-afford-a-DXpedition".

You get the picture. Be creative.

NOTE: There are no QRP categories, so QRPers should pay special attention 
to the following section:

We're all tired of having to dig your pathetic weak signals out of the 
noise.  Give us a break. Geez! What ever possessed you to start this 
insanity anyway? Enough is enough. Turn up the power, get an amplifier, 
and put up a decent antenna so we can *hear* you for a change! You'd be 
amazed how much more fun contesting is when people can hear you! Life's 
too short for QRP! Get a life!

Contest Period
--------------
0001-1954Z April 1, 1996, give or take your personal schedule. If you are 
busy on April 1, feel free to operate (or not operate) whenever it is 
convenient for you. If this rule catches on, we will petition the ARRL, 
CQ, and anyone else who sponsors contests to adopt this rule.
{0104:0001:1193}

Bands:
------
All bands are permitted. Ham bands, WARC bands, jazz bands, rubber bands, 
Band-Aids, and valence bands may be used. U.S. PCS bands may be used as 
long as you have the highest current FCC auction bid in your MTA, and submit
an equal amount to the P d'A Contest Committee. 

Since enforcement of the European 40M band plan often provokes monitoring 
of frequencies near 7040, U.S. stations should listen for European stations
below 7005 to avoid being caught by the policemen. European stations should
consult the ARRL Net Directory for frequencies of 75M rag-chew nets to be 
used as listening frequencies during split-frequency operation.

Modes:
------
All modes are permitted. On 20 meters, cross-mode SSB-to-SSTV contacts are
worth double, and 100 bonus points are awarded for each profanity uttered
by a slow-scan operator who switches to SSB to yell at the contest operator.
Examples include: "Get the h*ll off the slow-scan channel", or "It's one of
those d*mn contesters, Clem. Let's get him the h*ll off our channel. Here's
a picture of my prize sheep in a bikini deedle-deedle-deedle...". 

Exchange:
---------
Each contact must consist of complete callsigns of both stations, and maybe
even another if you feel up to it (note: high rates may be used as an 
excuse for failing to confirm the other station's callsign after initial 
copy of a partial. The last two letters are the only critical information 
anyway - see "Multipliers" below). 

Exchanges must also include signal report, serial number, grid square 
(6-character format), number of fingers you've lost in crank-up tower 
accidents, current price of Scotch 88 in your area, update on your tower 
litigation, highest power you have ever heard rumored to be used by an 
active amateur (be sure to ask very loud stations from Southern Europe 
during the contest if they're really only running 300 watts), and your 
latest gripe about CT support. QSOs with K7LXC must include a question on
tower installation.

Scoring:
--------
Each contact, real or imagined, counts for points regardless of band, mode, 
signal report, or ethnic heritage. Only one contact per QSO, except as 
noted for 20M SSB-to-SSTV QSOs. 

Multipliers:
------------
Multipliers are the callsign suffixes (see suffix definition below) worked.
Why not? It's as meaningless and requires the same lack of strategy as the
WPX! 

Suffixes are defined as the last two letters of the callsign, officially 
encouraging the use of this advanced operating practice used by most of the
world's finest operators (Oops...did I give away one of those secrets known
only by the contesting elite?).

Log Submission:
---------------
Unlike *some* contest sponsors, the Poisson d'Avril Contest Committee accepts
log submissions via Internet. In fact, we *only* accept logs via Internet.
Use whatever format you like. We accept just about anything. Just make sure 
there's some kind of string of ASCII chracters in there someplace. Logs 
submitted by postal mail will be automatically disqualified. The Email 
address for log submission is Poisson54@aol.com. Include T-shirt size, 
credit card number and expiration date in the entry - preferably in the 
Subject field so we can forward it easily.

Please do *not* send entries to the Contest Reflector or any other Internet
newsgroup or mailing list. Some people simply don't have a sense of humor.
Really.

Results:
--------
A summary of the best entries will be compiled and posted whenever the 
Committee gets around to it, probably sometime around Dayton. Inclusion in
this summary is as close to an award as you'll ever see. 

The 1995 P d'A results will be published in the May issue of CQ Magazine.
Maybe. One guess as to who won.

<Doug Grant 4/96>
