Speed kills so run Windows 95
You can in a Nissan, but it's harder in a Lada!
"Bill Gates is lost" - Serves him right for buying Autoroute!
2B or not 2B.....thats FF
A good angle to approach any problem is the try-angle.
A synonym is a word you use if you can't spell the other one.
A truly wise man never plays leapfrog with a unicorn.
Be creative, invent a perversion.
Beer: May Cause Drowsiness - If Symptoms Persist Insult Doctor.
Blue, Blue & Blue - The United Colours of Benelton 
Bob says it's good to talk, but not to download at 2400.
C Program run, C Program Crash...ReWrite in Pascal!
Drop to DOS? Nah, it's easier with Power Prompter thanks...
EMACS - Eight Megabytes And Continuous Swapping 
Get lost... If you can't do that, try Autoroute. ;-) 
Gorin Desktop - "Sysop's Choice" GUI on John Major's Sunglasses 
GUI - Gorin's Unique Interface? Win without the Doze!
If life begins at 40, what are you supposed to do until then?
If plugging it in doesn't help, turn it on.
Insufficient Disk Space, Delete Windows to continue? (Y/y) 
Keyboard - a device for entering errors into a computer.
LENGTH[WALK] := LENGTH[PIER] + 100;
Microsoft renames Chicago for UK! Slough beta-2 due soon...
On a clear disk you can seek forever
PCMCIA: People Can't Memorize Computer Industry Acronyms 
Virginia Bottomley - Anagram: I'm an evil tory bigot.
When in doubt, mumble. When asked to clarify, say "Trust me".
Will you be using '95 in '96?
You may very well think that, but I could not possibly comment!
Tescos plastic bag shortage - NO CARRIERS 
I couldn't fix your brakes, so I made your horn LOUDER!
(D)inner not ready:  (A)bort (R)etry (P)izza 
IF WINDOWS$="useful" THEN HELL$=32F
No, no, nurse! I said SLIP off his SPECTACLES!!
